by Nashia Baker
September 28, 2020
No matter your industry, today’s always-on culture means you’re probably working and socializing with your co-workers or employees.
Unfortunately, I’ve found that it’s becoming much more difficult to set up boundaries between employees and leaders. As the owner of Studio Savvy, a hair salon, I adore my employees and spend most of my days with them. But that doesn’t mean we can (or should) be best friends.
Boundaries are important in business. Everybody wants to be liked, but if you end up only being the “cool boss,” employees might not respect you and could take advantage of your kindness. Before you know it, you could see more resentment and gossip on your team, all because you wanted to be a friend instead of a leader.
I get it: When you spend 40-plus hours a week with someone, you’re going to develop a personal relationship with them. But I believe friendships between owners and employees inherently create a conflict of interest because they can make it harder for you to:
• Be impartial or fair.
• Give constructive criticism.
• Negotiate salaries or hours.
• Let underperforming employees go.
None of these tasks is pleasant for a business owner, but boundaries make them a little easier. You don’t need to be a jerk, but you shouldn’t be a doormat, either. Here are the four tips I follow to set practical boundaries between myself and my employees:
- Clarify expectations from the start.
It’s easy for employees to overstep if they don’t know your boundaries. As the boss, I have to set the tone for my relationship with a new employee. I set personal boundaries right away. For example, I always tell stylists to only call or text me until 8 p.m. for emergencies.
If you don’t want to talk about controversial topics, such as politics or religion, let employees know from the start. A simple, “Oh, I don’t talk about that at work,” should suffice. Lead by example.
- Conduct frequent employee reviews.
I never fire someone out of the blue. I meet regularly with my stylists to chat about their performance and any issues they’re having. Be a hands-on manager by meeting frequently with your employees.
If you don’t like the way your employee corrected a co-worker or how they insist on asking about your private life, address it in these meetings. Regular reviews encourage self-awareness, which will help employees understand how they could be crossing boundaries without realizing it.
Try to give plenty of examples and deliver the news in a factual, constructive way. The last thing you want is for a review to turn into a roast. Keep it positive and professional, even if the boundary violations are frustrating.
- Hire carefully.
Not every candidate is going to be a fit for your business. That’s why I hire new employees very, very carefully.
I look for people who are self-sufficient. These are the people who want to focus on their work and who I can trust to do a great job. I can give them enough space and freedom to do their work, which I’ve found high performers appreciate.
And it’s much easier to prevent boundary violations when everyone is focused on giving amazing service.
- Keep things friendly, but professional.
There’s nothing wrong with chatting about what you did last weekend with your employees. We don’t have to become robots at work — you’re still a human.
But I believe regularly going out for a weekly happy hour, for example, could lead to crossing the line with employees. In some instances, employees might not feel completely comfortable spending time with you outside of work but continue meeting up out of obligation.
This is why I recommend always keeping socialization to work hours. That might mean hosting a team happy hour, employee lunch or office holiday party. But do not socialize one-on-one with employees outside of work. From my perspective, that smells too much like favoritism.
Keep your conversations professional, too. Avoid sharing anything that could be considered an overshare, such as details about your love life, politics or other deeply personal information. This can make other people uncomfortable and invite more boundary violations.
The Bottom Line
Boundaries clarify what’s acceptable in the workplace. They also help employees see where they fit into your business and what they can expect from you as a leader. I’ve seen how healthy boundaries create a happier, more productive work environment for everyone. Follow these four tips to set realistic boundaries that can minimize meltdowns and help improve performance.
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Deena Von Yokes is the founder and owner of Studio Savvy, a hair salon located in Rancho Santa Fe, California. Read Deena Von Yokes’ full executive profile here.